One week after...

I thought I had matured in this one week. Maybe in the sense people will never know (then what was the point of maturing, you'll ask), but I have and it makes me feel good.

But some things never change about me. I think the problem is with me... or atleast entities around me make me feel so.

So my question is how do I know whether or not my demands, feelings, thoughts are rational or not. Obviously on hindsight, practicality reigns over emotions. But sometimes, you are just caught in this whirlwind of emotions and you just let it all out. It is in the moment that your emotions play on you. Then when you do not get the desired response, you start thinking about the practical way of how you might have approached this situation.

It's too late by then. The concerned parties think you are some psycho.

This leaves me with this itching question. When do I be myself? And who all can I be myself in front of? Must I control my emotions in front of those who know me the best? Them too?

Why is that if you ask some of my friends about me and they'll say I am damn laidback and heck care about life. And then you ask others, and they'll say 'over sensitive' and 'insecure'. How can one person be so different? I am sure you have felt this way. about yourself.


On a different note, (for you sochie, updates on Singapore) I am now living in Eusoff Hall and going to embark on my 3 years of education in a university that has made my education a gamble (by this I am talking about bidding).

And Sochenda, you will be thrilled to know that I miss home even though home is just 1.5 hours by bus and 15 mins (and 15 dollars) by taxi away from uni. I do miss home. I think I cried too. No wait, I didn't. But it is OK if you do. Adelaide is sad. I miss you Sochenda Huang.

And and, my single room is quite the thing. Fridge (with loads of goodies) and pillow loaded 'you can sink in it' bed AND the highlight is my future portable air con. It gets really hot here. TRUST ME. Besides its an investment. I plan to make my room the 'haunt' in NUS. Ok, my cheap attempts to be cool. hah

You know what Soh, I miss J1. I do.

And now I really hope you read this and post a reply. Otherwise, it will be damn paiseh for me.