Study Break. Followed by the reason for the study break - Final Term Exams.

Every time the study break rolls around (It really does just comes along and I don't even see it coming), I am swamped with the same damn emotions/thoughts/views and I can't help but feel like a complete loser.

They are such:

1) Crap, I could've been consistent and not have to worry about it now.

2) Crap, I really did waste a lot of time.

3) Crap, what the hell have I wasted my time on??

4) Crap, why am I wasting my time now writing this blog post?

Just wrote a long angsty blog post. Then I realised it's against my blog morals (yeah we have those) to do that.

Well it was basically about how miserable my life is bla bla and how I am finally tired and that emotions are useless and make a person weak. bla bla bla. Nonsense that I don't actually think is true and tomorrow I'll go back to being an emotional fool. BUT nonetheless. NOW. presently. I want a break, from everything and I want no one to stop me and I want to do what I want and what makes me happy. So tomorrow, I am going to buy a big tub on Hagen Daz (sp) strawberry ice cream and indulge and watch a sad movie 'Into the Wild'. I will call up all my closest friends and talk for hours about the old days and the future. If ever that I do believe god exists is when I turn to my friends in my weakest state and they know just what to say to make me smile again. Thank god for friends.. the ones that I have. And I am one of those lucky people who has a lot of true friends. All you suckers with a 1000 people on FB. Truly you are all just loners desperate to add people on FB (or you are just popular or you are Indian and you have your whole extended family on FB.. mama mami bhai bahen jiju saala saali). And I want to go play paintball. There is a lot of anger that needs to come out in a completely non-emotional way right now. Therefore, paintball. I want to talk to Rimjhim again because I truly felt like we were back to our good old J1 days when i talked for an hour with her today. The golden days. It's true what a person really wants to feel good about himself/herself is positive attention (preferably from the opposite sex). Oh, what all we do for attention. Why can't we be self-sufficient like those other people. Sucky shi ty life. I want ice cream. And some loving and maybe some shopping.

Uh, it's still a long angsty blog post. blablabla